If life could be described in terms of a flavor, how would you express it? The thought that immediately comes to my mind is "bittersweet". Personally, I have often found life to have a sweetness to it; yet, many times the sweetness has often been tinged with a certain bitterness.
One of my favorite indulgences happens to be bittersweet chocolate. Mmmm!!! Paired with a perfect cup of dark french roast coffee and cream, it satisfies my craving for something not too sweet, not too bitter, but just right. Something this delicious is meant to be savored, not rushed through.
Throughout my life I've been through multiple seasons of overwhelming loss, grief, and all the stress that accompanies those life changes. Over the past fourteen years I've become increasingly aware of the need to slow down and savor the moments in life. We tend to live at a frantic pace in our society, often at our own expense — ignoring the need for rest, nurturing our relationships, and being refreshed and restored on every level.
Life wasn’t intended to be lived in a frenzy. We have each been given the gift of today; there aren’t any guarantees of tomorrow. Regardless of our plans, the unexpected can come crashing through our hopes and dreams and leave us picking up the pieces, one by one, and having to adjust to a “normal” that is anything but!
It’s in times like these that the bitter collides with the sweet; and there’s no rushing through the grief of our losses. Grief commands our time, our attention, and our emotions. We must allow ourselves to participate fully in the process of mourning if we are to ever experience the integration that is possible. The expression of grief is not an indication of a lack of faith! It actually is the expression of real pain, love, and even a hope for the future.
In fact, to withhold ourselves from processing our grief actually makes us feel worse, not better. We can’t possibly ignore or stuff deep emotions for any length of time before we experience the manifestation of this somewhere in our bodies, our hearts, or our minds.When we try to avoid pain, we actually cause ourselves more!
When we allow for the reality that grief is the price of having loved deeply, and allow ourselves to mourn, to acknowledge the depth of our loss, and the magnitude of change that the loss imposes on us, we then can begin to experience the comfort spoken of in scripture: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4 NIV)
I recently had a conversation with a lovely person who has endured an overwhelming amount of loss in her life. As she shared some of her story with me, I couldn't help but think of both the bitter and the sweet we all face in one way or another. Suddenly, she said it: "Bittersweet"! This is how she described her experience of life thus far, and I found that word to be completely apropos! There, in those moments of shared conversation and our shared experience of loss and grief, we both found comfort, compassion, and encouragement.
Never be embarrassed or ashamed of sharing your story with someone; you can't possibly know how your willingness to be honest about your
journey through loss and grief might help someone else. Sharing our story is part of the process of mourning our losses.
journey through loss and grief might help someone else. Sharing our story is part of the process of mourning our losses.Please always listen with compassion and without judgement when someone is willing to share their story with you. We don't need to fix anyone or anything. Simply being present to another person with an open heart is a healing balm for their heart and soul, and for ours, as well.
Interested in exploring how we may encounter the Divine in our most difficult times? Starting December 1st, I will be reading through A Midwinter God: Encountering the Divine in Seasons of Darkness by Christine Valters Paintner and you are invited to read along and join in a discussion about this brand new book just released by the author.
Each section has questions for reflection, as well as some creative exploration to help us navigate the topic of grief and loss while embarking on a path toward hope and spiritual maturity.
This is going to be an 8 week online gathering, and we may miss a couple of weeks during the holidays. Our discussions will last for one hour, with dates and times to be determined by the response I receive and the availability of the people interested. There will be no charge for this opportunity; it is a free resource I'm please to offer at this time.
If you would like more information, please reach out to me here and I'll be in touch with you. I hope you'll join me for this enriching experience! I will be inviting readers to join me in discussing other helpful books, and another Grief Journey Compassion Circle will be starting after the first of the year.
You don't need to walk through the wilderness of loss and grief alone. I would be honored to encourage and support you as you navigate your journey.
Warmly,
Vicki Kolbe, CMGC, CNHP
Master Grief Coach | HeartMath® Certified Mentor
Holistic Stress Resilience and Grief Support
571-364-5251
coach@essentialcalmingsolutions.com
www.essentialcalmingsolutions.com
571-364-5251
coach@essentialcalmingsolutions.com
www.essentialcalmingsolutions.com
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